Lost and Full

Two emotions filtering every thought in my head right now:
1. Sense of disorientation
2. Sense of satiation

1. Ventured once again into the mean, competitive classrooms of the BSchool race. Rats all. Race.
One problem though, the last thing I feel like is a rat. Can't help but wonder how I got here. Trying hard to talk to myself, convince myself- Marketing is what I want to do... but the moment I tell myself that, I feel such a surge of disbelief. It's impossible getting away with lying to oneself. One can pretend, cover things up- but that stage has gone now. The lies aren't working!

2. I can't study anymore...I love studying, cramming myself full of little factoids and big factoids and everything in the middle. But I'm so full. I can't get myself to push a little harder.
Days pass in wonderment, concocting things...empty mind turning into workshop pretty quickly here...Nights pass suffocated by stifling guilt. Full Full Full. Meter is down.